My family life has never been Brady Bunch perfect and sometimes it was downright awful. About 2 weeks ago my brother and I had a big blue. Now referred to as "The Incident". It really hurt my heart, I hadnt experienced that deep painful crying in years. Anyway despite the drama it made me confront how food has always been a sort of medicine. That perfect potion which will ease the pain away. Well hello there bright spark... this is not a new revelation - Im not a complete ostrich.
Normally there is a driving force, anxiety, desperation that I need to eat something (more often than not junkfood)to quieten this tempest of feelings before they overwhelm me. I know its about control, feeling helpless, not being able to express myself but its 3am and Im limiting my self analysis.
When I am in the midst of one of these situations there is no time to stop and reflect - its just me, food, NOW!!! Yet this time I did - I didnt find my oneway ticket to a whole uppercrust pizza nor 2x servings of thai take out with a litre of coke (coca cola that is ..lol..) The temptation was so seductive but I didn't - so that a small win for me...yay
P.S I have since fallen off the wagon but that's another story and will jumping back on tomoz y'all
