MY SUIT OF ARMOUR

Being fat is my shield, it lets me hide behind it. My suit of armour protects me from rejection and failure. Underneath it all, it isnt the shield I believe it to be, its really a double edged sword that hurts me.

An outsider would see these grandiose gestures I make towards making my big dreams a reality but I know the truth. I try enough to satisfy that Im pushing myself but never those extra few necessary steps to achieve what I want most. Its the excuse always ready to step in so I dont have try, dont have to follow my dreams, dont have to live life, dont have to love.

There is a whole emotional side to being overweight which Ive always known about myself, me being in the way of me, which I need to conquer. This is my greatest battle.

TALKING NUMBERS

119.1 Kilos and I want to be 60 Kilos. Daunting and challenging but not impossible.

THE UGLY TRUTH

I did this. To myself I mean. Its painful and abhorrent to look at these photos, not because its unsightly but those stretch marks and rolls of fats, I put them there.  I want to shout this isnt me but it is. I wasnt always like this but now..... I am like this.   I can no longer deny it. I have to swallow the bitter regret that burns in my throat for my wrong choices.  

So ...ahhh...tomorrow I commence Operation: Jessica Rabbit!